And there I was......waiting.

Oh gosh I'm still yawning from the lack of sleep- this whole working nights thing is wearing on me again.

But onward and upward we go.....putting in time at work is required until I get to jump into The Next Big Thing.   The house rental thing isn't exactly going as I had dreamed- please continue to pray for the perfect folks to take over living at 3148 Limestone Road in C-Vegas.   I've got about 5 weeks until I thought I'd like to be prepping to fly out of here.   And I've got a lot more money that I need to raise to fund the DR Dream.

However, last night as I was driving to work at 10p I decided that really....REALLY...I'm gonna continue to wait for God to give me the big heads up.    I've been so impatient and anxious about trying to get out of here and it isn't doing anything good for my relationship with Jesus and my interactions with friends, family, colleagues and random strangers who must think I'm nuts.  

I think this means that if my plane ISN'T landing in Santa Domingo on July 2 I will not cry and stomp my feet anymore or wake up with fingers of anxiety circling around my neck and my stomach doing somersaults.    I think it means...that yet again... my life is not my own.   I said YES to Jesus a while ago...and although we quarrel about who gets to call the shots alot- this one is going to have to be on Him.    So I'm gonna keep on working and hanging out and try to focus on putting in some good times here...some good memories while I wait.   I want more time with Grandpa.   I want to go swimming in Pine Creek.  I want to help deliver some sweet little brown babies that will grow up and speak spanish.    I want to sit in my small group and look around at these great and long-suffering friends that keep supporting me and bailing me out of selfishness.     I want to somehow (maybe?)  start running a mile or two again.  I really REALLY want to meet Antonio Bastardo at a Phillies game while I'm killing some hotdogs on Dollar Dog Night.  

I know God is calling me to the DR...but I just can't nail down exactly how it's going to go down.   So I'm pretty sure that I'm supposed to be living INTENTIONALLY right now, not banking on the future, not dwelling on the past and all the ridiculous stuff I've been caught up in, not sweating work or hours or plane tickets or houses or fundraising.    I'm thinking God really wants me to REST IN HIM (and let me tell you, I have not been resting in Him- I've been sweating everything!) and let Him pull this whole thing off.     Of course my neurotic personality will need all of you to remind me of this possibly hourly, if not daily.  :)    He's a Great God...otherwise He'd never tolerate a fool like me.  

Thanks for praying for me.   I know it's old hat, but I can always tell that prayers are lifting me up.  I can't imagine how folks can get out of bed without Jesus and His cronies (who remain the face of Him for me).  

Love,
nik