Boundaries and then some....

Sometimes one of the things that I struggle with the most here is boundaries.  Saying no.   Pulling back.  NOT getting over involved.  Keeping my mouth shut.   Being alone.  NOT giving what I want to.   I write this because over the last few weeks we've had a 9 year old visitor almost every day standing at our gate waiting for me.   And I know him from before, sweet little Y.   He used to be in Pueblo Nuevo when I visited and I wonder why he's not there now.   He's usually filthy and alone, although he's got a few older brothers that I greet in the streets.  The last time I saw the oldest one he reminded me "Nicole...we're hungry out here".   And I always wonder what is the right thing to do.   Y knows he's not supposed to come in the gate unless he's invited.  But he will wait outside for HOURS.   He'll climb the fence although he KNOWS he's not allowed to do that.  He drives Jenny Dog insane by teasing her and making her bark at him.   He'll call to me or Kari "Can I come in now?  Hey, can I come in yet? Hey...guys!!!".   We've had several talks with him about appropriate times to play and visit.  But he comes almost everyday anyway.  

This past week he invited me to his house to meet his mother.  So I drove over with him on our Pasola and spent a bit of time with his family.   I drank coffee with them and they told me he talks about us all the time.   There are 7 siblings I believe.   In a tiny little house with dirt floors on a corner in Corbano.  We've fed him lunch a few times and he's helped in the Scary Room and this past week Kari had a water gun fight with him and the grin on his face was contagious and enormous and the sparkle in the eyes might STILL be there.   And on Friday I promised I would play with him and we went to the river at 4 with Kari and Chino and Monchi and splashed and played volleyball and let the sunlight warm us while the palm trees waved overhead and the skinny Dominican boys hooted and talked trash over our volleyball skills.  It was a gorgeous moment.  One in which I close my eyes and thank God for my strange little family here.  Y and the boys and Dan and Kari and Wilmer and Laura and the odds and ends of all of us.   When we came back Monchi put him in the shower and made him scrub from head to toe and I smelled his head when he came out and reminded him of how handsome he is.  He has the absolute worst fungus on his head that I've ever seen.   Sigh.  Hygiene lessons.  He would like me to put medicine on it every day to help it go away faster.

What do we do?  How do I let him stand outside the gate hour after hour during the day smelling our lunch cooking and watching the Americans type on their iPads in the kitchen?    Boundaries are tough, man.  

The other night I saw one of the older boys dragging him through the streets screaming and crying.  His brothers told me he doesn't want to go home, he wants to sleep in the street.  I wonder what is happening in that house that makes him think he would be better off sleeping in the streets.  I wonder what is up with the scars on his arm and the pretty fresh cut on his chest (says he fell???).    I wonder lots of things.   One of the little boys at the river who was talking to him later said to me "Is it true that he lives with you at the clinic?".  Ummmm no.   "Well, is it true that sometimes you give him food?".  Ummmm I gave him some crackers today.

Boundaries.  I'm not good at that.   I just know I love him.

I have grown accustomed to seeing poor folks.   Downtrodden.  Hurting.  But there are always some that stick out a little bit more.  And I can just see Y's grin and beaming eyes while he fires away a water gun at Kari...and his skinny little naked self propelling quickly through the river holding onto our giant pink volleyball.   He's one of the faces of Jesus for me.   There are many here.  

I was singing last night (loudly) in spanish at the Central youth church service.  And for the first time in a long time...I found myself crying during worship.  FEELING the Holy Spirit come down on all of us together.  We just stood there for a long time, listening to the music and swaying, holding hands.   More faces of Jesus all around me, crying out together for the Kingdom to come NOW.... that He is WORTHY...this God of ours.   Reminding me that I am not here alone, I am not here of my own doing.