Boundaries and then some....

Sometimes one of the things that I struggle with the most here is boundaries.  Saying no.   Pulling back.  NOT getting over involved.  Keeping my mouth shut.   Being alone.  NOT giving what I want to.   I write this because over the last few weeks we've had a 9 year old visitor almost every day standing at our gate waiting for me.   And I know him from before, sweet little Y.   He used to be in Pueblo Nuevo when I visited and I wonder why he's not there now.   He's usually filthy and alone, although he's got a few older brothers that I greet in the streets.  The last time I saw the oldest one he reminded me "Nicole...we're hungry out here".   And I always wonder what is the right thing to do.   Y knows he's not supposed to come in the gate unless he's invited.  But he will wait outside for HOURS.   He'll climb the fence although he KNOWS he's not allowed to do that.  He drives Jenny Dog insane by teasing her and making her bark at him.   He'll call to me or Kari "Can I come in now?  Hey, can I come in yet? Hey...guys!!!".   We've had several talks with him about appropriate times to play and visit.  But he comes almost everyday anyway.  

This past week he invited me to his house to meet his mother.  So I drove over with him on our Pasola and spent a bit of time with his family.   I drank coffee with them and they told me he talks about us all the time.   There are 7 siblings I believe.   In a tiny little house with dirt floors on a corner in Corbano.  We've fed him lunch a few times and he's helped in the Scary Room and this past week Kari had a water gun fight with him and the grin on his face was contagious and enormous and the sparkle in the eyes might STILL be there.   And on Friday I promised I would play with him and we went to the river at 4 with Kari and Chino and Monchi and splashed and played volleyball and let the sunlight warm us while the palm trees waved overhead and the skinny Dominican boys hooted and talked trash over our volleyball skills.  It was a gorgeous moment.  One in which I close my eyes and thank God for my strange little family here.  Y and the boys and Dan and Kari and Wilmer and Laura and the odds and ends of all of us.   When we came back Monchi put him in the shower and made him scrub from head to toe and I smelled his head when he came out and reminded him of how handsome he is.  He has the absolute worst fungus on his head that I've ever seen.   Sigh.  Hygiene lessons.  He would like me to put medicine on it every day to help it go away faster.

What do we do?  How do I let him stand outside the gate hour after hour during the day smelling our lunch cooking and watching the Americans type on their iPads in the kitchen?    Boundaries are tough, man.  

The other night I saw one of the older boys dragging him through the streets screaming and crying.  His brothers told me he doesn't want to go home, he wants to sleep in the street.  I wonder what is happening in that house that makes him think he would be better off sleeping in the streets.  I wonder what is up with the scars on his arm and the pretty fresh cut on his chest (says he fell???).    I wonder lots of things.   One of the little boys at the river who was talking to him later said to me "Is it true that he lives with you at the clinic?".  Ummmm no.   "Well, is it true that sometimes you give him food?".  Ummmm I gave him some crackers today.

Boundaries.  I'm not good at that.   I just know I love him.

I have grown accustomed to seeing poor folks.   Downtrodden.  Hurting.  But there are always some that stick out a little bit more.  And I can just see Y's grin and beaming eyes while he fires away a water gun at Kari...and his skinny little naked self propelling quickly through the river holding onto our giant pink volleyball.   He's one of the faces of Jesus for me.   There are many here.  

I was singing last night (loudly) in spanish at the Central youth church service.  And for the first time in a long time...I found myself crying during worship.  FEELING the Holy Spirit come down on all of us together.  We just stood there for a long time, listening to the music and swaying, holding hands.   More faces of Jesus all around me, crying out together for the Kingdom to come NOW.... that He is WORTHY...this God of ours.   Reminding me that I am not here alone, I am not here of my own doing.  

Wins and Losses

There's been some wins and losses in the last month or so.   Thought I'd throw some up on the old blog...since I'm not doing the greatest at updating it regularly.  

Hanging out with my fam in early August was a great win....loved being with Mom, Dad, Brett, Jen and the boys up at our cabin in Pine Creek Valley.    Biking, bears, campfires, Pine Creek.  Total win.

Can I mention that I just miss blueberries terribly?  

BEARS!  Blurry BEARS!

Aneesa goes to college.  I got to help her move in.  Total total total win.  So.  Very.  Proud.

Another win was 2 weekends ago when Laura, Monchi, Chino and I went to Jarabacoa to visit Emma Wilde at the YWAM base there.   Every time I goto a new place in this country I marvel at how very different it is.  Jarabacoa is the Colorado of the DR.  The mountains and greenery are spectacular and we went to two different waterfalls that just blew my mind.   Plus the YWAM base is amazing in its own way....this green eden of a sanctuary that has its own chapel and cabanas and pond and palm trees all over the place.  Emma is of course flourishing there (like we all KNEW she would) and it was just the coolest to see her in her element.    We went out in the city and enjoyed pico pollo one night and pizza the next and reveled in a newfound place with friends.   

lots of walking and hiking (and running!) in Jarabacoa.  Couldn't have been more beautiful.

We hiked/walked to the waterfalls and had to walk over these rickety rope bridges to get there.

And then another intense hike through woods and mountains to find another remote waterfall.  So.  Worth.  It.  But there were over 183 steps to climb UP when we were returning.  Burning.  Legs.

So worth it.  Did I say that already?  Unbelievable.

Running.   Can't decide if I put this in the Win or Loss column since it's still just so very hard for me.  But yes.   I'm 40 and I have to do something to fight the forces of age and stress.   So I run.  Right now I'm in an intense program training 2x daily.  Usually.   Kinda.  And it hurts and my body is thrashed (THRASHED) but mentally I'm feeling MUCH better.  Plus- I get to see stuff like this at 630 in the morning.

The unfortunate thing is that this is what I look like at 630 in the morning.   Miserable.  

The greatest win, hands down, of the past week was the Completion. Of. The. Scary.  Room.   Part of my job is supposed to be organizing (???) our Medical Supply Room (otherwise known as the Scary Room) and our Pharmacy.    Both of which routinely get trashed, both by our American teams AND the Dominican side as well.   But this past week, Monchi, Chino and I put on our gloves and attacked the room with full fervor and several truckloads of trash-to-the-dump later...the Scary Room (for the first time since I've ever been here) resembles a Medical Warehouse (kind of).   We found medical supplies from 1980...... older than either of the guys, which was funny.    We found a few treasures but they were few and far between.    We found mountains of rat droppings and one very dead mouse.   We sweated like banshees in the heat and I am more than relieved to have it finished...as well as to have the slightest idea of what may be IN the Scary Room now.    When I first walked in before we started, I think I had tears in my eyes.  It was SOOOOOO overwhelming and there was just stuff thrown ALL over the floor.    Yesterday we had the added help of Yoscar and Rankeli, two 9 year olds (maybe?) who were looking for something to do.   They tossed garbage bags and packed the pickups and happily rode along to the dump with us and they thought it was just about the greatest day known to man.  And now I think there are tears in my eyes just knowing it is COMPLETED.   At least until stuff is thrown all over the floor again.  :)

Other wins include hanging out with my friends in Pueblo Nuevo and sitting in on English class, having dinner at Anji and Bartolo's house, visiting my friends Jarolin and Alicia and snuggling their babies, having Enma bring his baby niece over to hang out with us, driving the Pasola around town, playing dominos with the crew,  working in the clinic with the incredible staff to prepare for the surgical teams, calling about 10 billion people to remind them when to come in for surgical consults, emailing various folks who are coming in upcoming groups,  having "girls time" and chats with Maria Victoria and Laura,  making arripitas,  spending a morning in ValleJuelo Hospital with MMI to pick up some more knowledge on barrio clinics/operativo medicos, and simple stuff like sitting in our cabana and thinking about the next Big Thing that God might want to do here in San Juan.

With wins comes losses sometimes.   

I lost a good friend this past month.  Glenda.  Not sure I have words.  But such a loss.   Yeah- no tengo palabras.  I'm encouraged by the incredible faith I see exhibited in her family and friends...but I hurt  just thinking about it.   It's just so hard sometimes- living on THIS earth in THIS world.   

And cancer.  I hate cancer.  I've got some peeps with cancer.   I don't get it.   It's a loss and it frustrates me.   I DO feel grateful that there is good treatment available where my friends and family are...but wow.  Cancer just sucks.  

My house.  I am selling my house.  I love my house.  But I love my life more.   My tenant is going to have some other plans this winter and so it's time to move on.   Know anybody who wants to buy my house?   It scares me because of all the little pieces that need to fit together in order for me to have this life here.  The house is one of them.   This would be one of the reasons I am running.  :)

Losses.  Wins.  I've got some of both.   More wins than losses, Gracias A Dios.  (And my 3 fantasy teams are hanging in there....as apparently are the Phillies)    I'm working with God with both the Wins and Losses, trying to have that whole patience and faith thing going on.   He is sustaining me, encouraging me, pushing me.   I see Him around me, in Yocar's grin while he's twisting his neck to see if I'm watching him.  I see him in the mist rising over the mountains in the morning when I'm huffing and puffing.  I see Him in the grief and in the heartache even when I can't begin to find a way to speak it.   

He's here with me in this beautiful place that I call home.  

.  

Update Newsletter! (oh and fundraising toooooo!)

One year is up and I’m still here.   And still sending out the Annual Newsletter/Fundraising Update.   I suddenly realized that perhaps I should share in greater detail a bit more of HOW I LIVE or WHAT I DO.   I live and work in San Juan de la Maguana, which is located in the western half of the Dominican Republic about an hour and a half from Haiti.  I work for an organization called Solid Rock International (check us out at solidrockinternational.org) and my title is Medical Coordinator (I am also a Sponsorship Coordinator but we can talk about that at another time).   I live at a Guesthouse (upstairs in dorm room number 16!)   which is located adjacent/on site to a CLINIC where I help with American medical teams that come to volunteer/serve here.  We sometimes define my job as a “bridge” between the Dominican staff that always work at the clinic and the incoming American teams that come for one week at a time to perform needed or specialty surgeries.   I work with 3 other Americans here; Dan and Kari Straley (Guesthouse administrators) and Laura Demastus (social worker).     I work in the clinic with the surgical teams, organizing and coordinating with consults and patients and sometimes transportation and surgical prep.   Sometimes I scrub (hand over instruments).  Sometimes I circulate (assist in the operating room).  Often I am calling the patients to assist in preparing them for surgery.  Most often I am found running from room to room looking for needed things or people.   Sometimes I run the autoclave (yipes!) and sometimes I make the beds.   MEDICAL COORDINATOR is a title that possibly means many different things to many different people.  One of my favorite projects this year was helping to organize several “junk rooms” into usable (and almost pretty!) consultation rooms, one of which currently has a fetal monitor and ultrasound machine (JOY to my obstetrical heart!).   

I also travel with our mobile medical clinics when there is no surgery.  This is what we call our Barrio teams.  We head out to different, sometimes remote locations with doctors and a mobile pharmacy to see/evaluate/treat people who are often unable to receive complete medical care.   I love going out to little towns and seeing where folks live and work and struggle and triumph.   It’s a great mix for me to be able to work between the clinic and the barrio teams.    

So yeah- one year and I’m still here.  And I want to stay.   I want to commit for another year (ummm I kinda already have) and see what God has next for me.    It hasn’t been easy- there have been lots of tears and “why am I here again?” and cultural and language struggles and frustrations.  But there have been intense joys and triumphs and shared moments and just…well…there has been lots of love too.   I love it.  I feel like God is working DESPITE me (J) and that He has more for me here than I ever thought.  

So along with that…I’m asking for support again.  Prayer AND financial.   It’s the same deal as before and I don’t like this part of it but here it comes.   I can’t quite do this without the prayers and finances which come from folks who believe that God is doing Good Things in San Juan de la Maguana and that Nicole Eby gets to watch and cheer and maybe even participate in those Good Things.    I can tell you that your help makes it possible and that is incredibly appreciated.   I work for Solid Rock International and your donations/support can be sent to Solid Rock International, PO Box 20867, Indy, IN, 46220 OR you can check us out online at solidrockinternational.org and support me through the website (which is a really awesome website too!).    I also have a blog- phillynic.blogspot.com where I TRY to update  “kinda-regularly” the life and times of Nik Eby.   I also update another blog via the Solid Rock International site at www.solidrockinternational.org. 

Soooo yeah-  I want to say THANKS again for your prayers and lovin’ encouragements.  I know that I always say that I can FEEL your prayers but it’s true!    Recently I was feeling down and kinda blue about the WAITING sometimes that goes on in life….. how our timing is rarely God’s timing and how frustrated my impatient self can be with that.   One of my friends reminded me (in Spanish!) again of my favorite verse, Jer. 33:3 “Call to me and I will answer you….and tell you new and unsearchable things that you did not know”.   Still new…still unsearchable.  Still on the journey.    THANK YOU for riding along with me.

It's not a party til somebody's pushing the bus...

So below is a video representing our week in the barrio clinics.   It couldn’t have been more fun...we had to get out of the bus and push or walk no fewer than 10 times.   And watching Perdomo herding the oxen to pull our bus out of the creek bed/hole was classic.   

I don't always have my own pictures of myself working but my friend Chris North hooked me up with a bunch.  So here goes- here’s what I do when I’m not helping in the clinic or the schools or organizing stuff around here.    We were with a bunch of great kids from Ohio and then Ohio Northern University over the last three weeks and I’ve seen some beautiful country.    We’ve been up in the mountains and in some locations with no electricity.   I’ve learned that water is power.  With accessibility to water...you can have a garden and grow food.  You can have cows and goats that produce milk.    It makes a huge difference.  So it was interesting as Chris interviewed folks and checked out our locations and we noted the change in places with constant water flow (the aqueducts are sometimes complete works of art here) versus those with little.   I felt like I got yet another glimpse into the real life of the folks here.   And of course there are the patients who will stay branded into my mind forever.  The 16 year old with the heart condition.  The man with a Parkinson’s-like disease who invited us to his house where we sat under a beautiful grove of mango trees.    He told us that all of his children had been in the Child Nutrition Program years ago and were healthy adults today.   It made me cry a little bit when I was talking to Perdomo about it.   The woman with the baby with probable pneumonia.     The woman with a 4 year old with severe self-mutilating and violent behavior issues who cried when I pulled her aside to pray for them in the church.    That beautiful little girl had such amazing light-brown eyes...so full of darkness...so full of pain...crying...sobbing.    We tried to speak truth into her...tell her how beautiful she was...how God had a plan for her life.   Que pena.  What pain.   Her mother suffers alone...trying to keep her from hurting herself and others.   And what do we have to offer...except to hold her hand and pray.   

Okay it's not work but these shoeshine boys/street kids are just about my favorite thing.  I found these two in the back of my truck when I was driving through town.  :) You can see that I can't keep a straight face while I'm trying to yell at them.

Eating rice and beans in the barrios.

Can I keep her?  Cuz seriously- could she be any cuter?

patients in the barrios with Dr. Omar and Dr. Perdomo

takes a village (and some oxen) to get to where we are going sometimes....Hooray for Monchy!

And hooray for Perdomo and the oxen pulling us out....

shelling guandulesssss

lunch break in the barrios and ummmmmm... playing dominos

folks waiting in line to be seen in the barrios (wait, does anyone see a line?)

NEW LIFE...it just never gets old!  We love babies!

hanging in our favorite neighborhood Corbano Sur...and ummmmm...playing dominos!  :)

Still here! I mean it!

Well it IS an absolute disgrace that I haven't written but ummmmmm...well, there just IS no excuse.  I don't think I've gone this long EVER in the Nik Eby blogging history.    But anyhoo- stuff HAS been happening.    The whole month of July will NOT escape undocumented.   The life and times of Nik Eby plunges on full speed ahead.

When last seen, I believe I was talking about my trip home and then returning to San Juan.   I stepped back into some  busy weeks.   I got to hang out doing surgery in the clinic with two OB GYN girls and their crew.    We had two weeks of the Brookside youth group in town, which involved me spending time TWICE in Bastida, where I got to see Baby Nicole (YAYYY!) AND Julian again (precious gifts!)

We had a Baby Shower in the clinic, which was a first that I know of).   It was awesome, involving about 30 people (doctors/nurses/ and other crew from the clinic) crammed into a patient room, lots of yelling and balloons and games and chocolate cake and running to find prizes.  Complete bedlam and possibly the greatest baby shower I've ever been to.  Dominicans are just the kings of enjoying parties.  Kari and I both just loved being there watching everything unfold before our eyes and trying not to get run over.

After 3 weeks of teams, Laura and I accompanied one of the groups to the capital and then headed to SAMANA which is definitely one of my favorite spots on this island.    It's the original birthplace (we think)  of Jenny Dog as well, which led to wonderful sentimental memories of when we first got her.   I almost wished she could have come with us but things just didn't work out.   But I thought of her when Laura and I were walking by the beach....I remember Jenny running there with Kari and I, waiting for us every morning outside our room.   So funny.  And now she's a little part of our family.   Samana hasn't become a total tourist trap yet..so there are these serene nearly-abandoned gorgeous beaches where you can sit and read and swim and stare at the waves for hours on end.   And of course thats after you drive through a stunning tropical-ish forest surrounded by palm trees and scenery out of a movie.   I so wish that I could post some pictures to do it justice...but wow- nothing can demonstrate how pretty Samana is.   Perfect.

One of my favorite things that happened in July was more clinic "stuff".  We had a Nurses Meeting that led to some total and complete organization of some of the "treasure"- filled rooms in the clinic.  I have discovered that I am a person who loves meetings.  I love hearing people talk about their visions for things, information sharing, and sitting around tables with folks.   Yup- I'm a meeting kinda gal.   And after the Nurse meeting, we kicked it into "ORGANIZATION MODE".   We now have a Wound Care/ER room and 3 private consultation rooms that just look SOOO awesome.  Plus, it seems to give a real sense of pride to the staff having special rooms prepared and ready.   We found a WORKING fetal monitor which brought great joy to my Labor and Delivery heart.  I had to practice and listen to fetal heart rates on just about any and every pregnant lady who was willing to come and let me put the monitors on her.  Never gets old...... AND we were able to pack some supply bags to give to the 4 hospitals from our NRC (Neonatal resus classes) which had some OB and general hospital supplies.  It felt so good to be able to do that.  And I loved watching Livida search carefully for our surplus items to share with others.   Since the NRC class, Ive had a real appreciation for the supplies that our clinic has available to them because some of the local hospitals are LACKING a lot of things.    All of this means that when the clinic is bien organizado  (HA!) I will need to move AGAIN to the Scary Room and begin the torture process of organizing up there again.  YIPES.  

The clinic staff was also given a Weekend Retreat at a resort by the Solid Rock jefes.  I got to tag along and just GRIN as I watched them lounging in the pools, chasing their little ones, and just enjoy enjoy enjoy to their hearts content.    What fun to watch!   For some of them, this is one of the only opportunities that they will have to enjoy a beach day, fill up plates at a smorgasbord, and splash in a big old pool.  You can imagine the exuberance on their faces and the excitement when they got to the Dining room.  One of the staff was eager to report to Cora that she got to have THREE GLASSES of milk with her breakfast.  She was overwhelmed with the richness of it.  

The next highlight was having Emma Wilde arrive.  Emma is going to be here in the DR for 5 months in Jarabacoa through YWAM but she arrived here in San Juan first.  It was the BEST having her.  Her heart for the DR is just so obvious and we know that God has big big things for her here.  It was exciting getting to watch her take everything in again and get psyched for her next big thing.

Another week found Laura, Emma and I accompanying Tammy and Cora and their youth team to El Cercado for a 2 night stay to provide Barrio Clinics and perform dramas at a few different churches.  As you should all know by now....any chance to be in El Cercado is exciting for me and I LOVED staying with my host family (who is just FAMILY anyway to me by now) and meander around town and listen to these phenomenal youth use their talents to encourage and minister to the folks there.   And of course we were in some beautiful areas doing the clinics...like La Colonia and Vallecito.    One of the days after the clinic Laura and Emma and I walked to the river and got to bathe like the locals in this amazing (and kinda cold!) fresh water.   The team LOVED it.   It's moments like that, splashing in a river with Grecia and Morales with soap in my hair and broken flip-flops and screaming teenagers laughing all around us...that I have to grin inside at my rich rich rich life here.  

And now I'm in the midst of 2 weeks of barrio teams with ONU group, a great college group who is doing a bang-up job at loving on folks in the barrios and providing them with great medical care.  I sit and watch sometimes and see them asking good questions and becoming friends with our friends and translators and working on their spanish and carrying the beautiful babies around and holding hands with the little old ladies coming in and studying carefully everything that the doctors are teaching them.  It's amazing.  It really is.... how all this stuff comes together.    They are absorbing EVERYTHING and I pray that it makes a difference and gives them this love to serve and love on people who are different than them but who still have dreams that are important.    Sure looks like they are.    Sure looks like they are living out loud...taking it all in.    And I....I don't want to take for granted that I get to watch this all go down.    I want to remember again how I got here and what a privilege it is to see God's hands and feet in action....and His heart aching for those who have or don't have.    There are still cases that keep me up at night- that 16 year old who will die of a broken....broken... not functioning heart... that 2 month old baby with the weird lump on her back (is it spina bifida?  oh man...- we don't know but her 16 year old mama is going to try to follow up....)... all the diabetics who don't have the means to follow up with their sugars... the out of control blood pressures and stroke victims.  Wow.    And the list goes on.  And I'm learning...learning....learning.

Some of it reminds me of some lyrics I used to recite in college....

Hold me gently..take me through another day..
however hard I try...I crawl when I should fly
I wander through my days, pulled a million ways
Help me feel the forces I can't touch
I'm reaching out- help me learn until I know too much.

Hmmmmmm....... keeping on over here in San Juan.   Grateful for what I have.  Praying for those who don't.  Knowing there are folks struggling both near and far.  FEELING the burdens of my friends.  Celebrating their joys but wow- spent some time recently HURTING for some who are in tough scenarios right now.   I am reminded of how hard it is to have faith but also how hard it is to NOT have faith.     One of my favorite things about doing the liturgy with Kari and Laura (and Emma too!) is when we do Prayers for Others.    It's good for me to remember that, for us to pray TOGETHER for folks..... and not stop petitioning God.  He does hear.  He does answer.  We have to remind each other of that ALOT.

Anyhoo- some pictures below and oh well- I'm going to get my act together for August and try to update more often.....

One of my favorite things here is getting to see folks meet their sponsor students.   Look at this BEAUTIFUL picture of this El Rosario family with their sponsor.....

This is so out of order but I'm terrible at these things.  Nearly abandoned Playa Rincon in Samana.  Heavenly.

BABY SHOWER!  That rocks!

Dominos.  An oldy but goody.   I think I remember that Monchi and I DESTROYED in this game.  But as Dan reminds me....I'm still pretty streaky at dominos.

Playita in Samana.  Just no words.

Here's how I feel about vacations.........

On the road to glory where the story never ends... okay maybe not but I WAS running toward the beach.  Doesn't that count?