Viernes

Y entonces, ya yo voy.  

When I left this morning, Tony was preaching to the folks in the waiting room of the clinic and handing out tracts.  The other nurses were getting charts together, folding gauze, laughing with each other, stripping the beds.   Sandy Valdez was in his office preparing to see the patients.  Jose and Alejandro and Richard were chatting it up in the pharmacy.   In the guesthouse, Margo and Rosa were starting the laundry and cleaning the kitchen and beginning to tear through the rooms.   The buses were loading up  the team members to head for the capital and the drivers were working through the bus windows to get all the luggage inside.

A patient's father called to remind me not to forget about her or her lab results.  Texts were buzzing on my phone.   My favorite two conchos drivers were hanging by the gate giving hugs and chanting "no te vallas...no te vallas" (don't go...don't go).   The barrio kids were goofing off asking for stuff (like always!) and sneaking in the gate and trying to play with the dog.   My mom was wiping off the counters in the kitchen.    Dan and Kari were prepping for the drive to Juan Dolio.   It's Friday.  

And now I'm sitting on the balcony of my hostel in BC staring at the ocean, soaking in the breeze with an ice cold one.    I'm wondering again why it is that I'm so lucky.    I'm thinking how psyched I am to get back down here and finish up that scary med supply room (it IS much improved), reorganize the pharmacy room (again!), love on my patients, joke with the docs in surgery, walk down the streets of Cercado with the mountains on both sides, visit baby Nicole, cruise around in the hideous blue truck, hang with my peeps, consume insane amounts of arroz y habichuelas.    I'm drinking in the moment of how great it's BEEN, how good God has been, has ridiculously LARGE I've lived with His favor.   Kari prayed for me this morning at breakfast and it was a bit of teary time for me.....   I'm trying to reflect, I'm trying to process, I'm trying to be intentional...and I just feel torn.   Torn between the gratitude and the yearning to DO more, BE more, GROW more.     And of course that's just lame...because there never IS anything I've ever done here or anywhere else-  it's always been Jesus.  

And I've got some friends who are sick...and I've seen some sad things...and I know we aren't guaranteed the next 5 minutes, let alone the next 5 months or 5 years.    So I know I have to process this lovely experience and know that I will commit to living IN THE NOW wherever I am.   But wow- will I miss the vida dulce aki.

Great team this week, again.  Loved the crew- surgery team rocked (didn't have much surgery but still rocked!), fantastic barrio teams saw over 1000 patients.   Wednesday Kari and I went to Bastida where I held Baby Nicole again.   She is beautiful, gaining weight, looking good.   And we saw Julian which is always a moment of intense love and pain.   And yesterday I went with Dr. Victor to El Cercado and spent some time seeing patients, but mostly walking around to say hello to my friends there.   We stopped in and visited the family with 12 kids and little to no food.  There were 3 chicken eggs in the baby's bed which was a pile of garbage bags on the floor with a hole-y blanket on top of it.     And we ate lunch with my El Cercado family (the bandera claro) and chatted and I realized that sometimes I understand a good 80% of the conversations now.  Huge success.   And later  Kristin and the baby came by to say goodbye and then mom and I drove to Pueblo Nuevo and gave hugs and "hasta luegos" and we just don't say goodbye because really...... it's just not goodbye.   And I watched the group members meet their sponsor kids and sponsor families last night and just BEAM with excitement.  

I was reminded that I am a small part of the beautiful plan that God has for the folks here.... for us to take care of each other and love on each other and remind each other that He LOVES us and wants us to LOVE Him back and live in that Love.     And I have been LOVED on.   And I've said it in the last post and I'll say it again:   I am changed.   At the pool earlier I was blasting some music in my IPOD and bopping along to some reggaeton and others when the Creere' song came on.  I remembered how I felt at that concert with that song- like we were all together at one time, the whole world in harmony shrieking the words:   I believe.  I believe.  I believe.  And I do.