Sometimes it's just hard.....

I'm trying to catch onto this culture as fast as I can and sometimes that's good and sometimes it just sucks.   Half the time I don't understand what is happening around me.

But this I understand; two of my dear friends have lost loved ones recently (really recently).  One lost his 7 month old daughter and one lost his sister.  And I will say this... death is terrible everywhere but wow is it HIDEOUS here.      Because when someone dies here they have to be buried in like 24 hours.   So you go to the house pretty much right away.  And you sit there.  And sit there.  And listen to the wailing.   And you shake hands and hug folks that you don't know.  And maybe you cry.   And you talk to the other folks who are sitting there if you can or if you know them.  And many many many people come over and crowd in the house and sit under a plastic canopy in the street to visit and hug and sit there.   And last night we sat outside in the street in total darkness (no power) except for a few candles flickering in the house while family and friends came to support our friend.    And no tengo palabras.  I don't have words.

Things like life and death happen really quickly here.   It's scary actually.   Sometimes I wonder if that's why they LIVE SO LOUDLY here ....so ALL OUT....like staying up and out and playing music and enjoying everything SO HARD while they can.... Because wow- it seems to go by so fast.   So I guess I wonder- do we sugarcoat EVERYTHING in the States?   Or am I just forgetting?  Do we try to look good in our death and grief sometimes- because it's pretty darn raw here.  K Dios ayudanos.

So what will we do.....  Well, I guess we will visit our friends.  And sit with them.  And try not to say very much because, really, what is there to say?   God, Please Help Us.

Sometimes it's hard.  

Guess I didn't think so much about the painful part of community when I signed up for this gig.   And I WANT to be there- I do.    It's just like K said yesterday - "how come life here is so awesome and so awful at the same time?"