I wander through my days....pulled a million ways....

Is it ridiculous that I can't remember how I spend my days sometimes?  Is time going by so quickly or is it so slow that I'm soaking in these moments?  I honestly don't know.   Sometimes I have a hard time remembering yesterday, let alone what happened this past week.    But I do know that it's been GOOD, that I've been LOVING life, that I'm LEARNING and and soaking it all in and reveling in the simplicity of my daily existence here.   Well, sometimes it's simple.  

The early part of this week I spent here at the clinic doing "small stuff".   I did some inventory of meds and medical equipment, sent out a billion emails, helped to prep for a kids' eye surgery in the capital, stopped by CCED, etc.   On Wednesday I went with Kristin to Kilometer 3 to observe/participate in her home visits via the Child Nutrition Program there.   I remembered some of the kids from the last time I was there and it was awesome to see them again and even better to see the progress that some of them are making.   We admitted a sweet baby girl into the program and weighed a BUNCH of others that fortunately do not meet criteria for the program (meaning they are healthy and growing appropriately!).   

I also briefly visited with some kids that I remember meeting in Pueblo Nuevo a few years ago.   It's always tough to see when things don't work out like I think they should.  Kids not going to school (lack of uniforms), nearly naked 4 year olds with hair crawling (lice?  dirt?  bugs?  hmmmm?),   sad eyes looking for some attention, lots of "hongos" (funguses),  parents with mental illness.   And yet- they shout my name when they see me and appear happy that I'm there to see them.    And for now- this is what I have to offer- hugs, kind words, a little time, a promise to return.  

I spent Thursday in El Cercado seeing patients with Dr. Perdomo in the morning and then doing Home visits with Angel in the afternoon.    The mothers bring their kids (who are in the Child Nutrition Program)  to be weighed and evaluated by the team here (Dr. Perdomo, Ruth, and Angel).   If they continue to meet criteria, they are given milk and vitamins.   One woman brought her neighbor and neighbor's baby in for an evaluation.  When I first saw the baby I thought she was maybe 3-4 months old but after  Dr. Perdomo spoke to them, they told us that the baby was 14 months old.   She weighed 11 (ELEVEN!!!) pounds and had been 8 pounds at birth.  When I see things like this, I realize again how much our program is needed here.  Not just to provide milk though.  This family needs much more than milk.   Angel and I visited their home after lunch and he reviewed with her how to make the milk, how to feed the baby,  when to return to the clinic, etc. etc.   I see over and over and over how important education is here.  And yet I'm so humbled by how sweet the mother was,  how sweet ALL the families are that we visit.   They pull out chairs for us and invite us to sit down and allow us to take pictures of their beautiful families and tragic circumstances.    Dr. Perdomo told me that it takes approximately (or at least!)  TEN times of teaching the EXACT same thing to the families for them to BEGIN to implement change.   This is why our home visits are so important, to stress things like WASHING the baby bottles, USING CLEAN WATER to make the milk, putting shoes on the kids, bathing the children regularly,  having the children wear clothing (you would be surprised how many kids run around butt naked all day long), suggesting easily accessible nutritious food to feed the kids, etc. etc. etc.    I haven't been able to get that little baby girl out of my mind.   

Another great thing about home visits is that Angel and I went flying up in the mountains via moto, which IS the best way to see the country here.   AND the roads are sometimes not passable for the truck anyway, especially after rain.   So I love it.  I love whizzing around with the colorful houses on all sides of us, surrounded by mountains and awesome vistas, kiddies frantically waving, air and exhaust blowing in my face (gratefully because it's unbelievable HOT in the sun),  stopping to ask directions to a new family's house in every little pueblo,  giggling at Angel,  generally feeling so humble to be a part of something that WORKS here, that is GOOD and HELPFUL and kinda simple.  

And when we come back, I walk to Kelvin's house and we sit outside, up on the hill under a tree, and play dominos.   And I'm still terrible but he's so patient with me.  My frente (partner) Fabio is not QUITE so patient ("you keep killing me girl!  You are supposed to kill THEM, not ME!"  ayi yi yiiiiiii) but I think it's because he's like 80 and doesn't have quite the patience for a stupid american girl who wants to learn and apparently takes too long to decide which domino to play.   Kelvin and his frente massacre us, as usual.   But I love it here.   High on the hill in Cercado under a tree with a cool breeze and some friends that I'm crazy about.   And I don't understand the strategy they are trying to explain to me at all but I'm smiling and nodding my head anyway.   And then I stop and chill with some other friends and talk some baseball and grin a whole lot and then head home to my fam here.  Where we hold my sweet sobrinito and talk and snack and laugh and watch the novelas.   And it's just perfect.  Como siempre.

Back to San Juan Friday morning and then out to Vallejuelo to visit another of the boys I wanted to check on.   And I feel really good about this one.  He has a sweet mother who adores him and who piled my arms full of limes and a pumpkin when we left.   And I'm humbled because I know they don't have much food to eat and she's SOOOO generous and kind and invited me back "anytime" and hugged and kissed us alot.  And Gleidy is almost grown too, taller, more serious, talking like a grownup, no more kidding around.  How quickly things change.   It was beautiful to see him.  I'm relieved.

When I got back, I got a phone call from Baby Nicole's mom "soy la mama de Nicolita (little Nicole)".   And that made my day.  I gotta go visit my baby soon.   She wants me.   And I want to squeeze her and kiss her and giggle at her hilarious siblings.   I want to remember the day she was born..by far the greatest day I've had in this country...and remember how blessed I was to experience it, how lucky I am to get to be here, how incredibly MIRACULOUS it is to get to have these moments.    Good and bad.  Bad moments this morning working in the scary room (I'm always going to hate it- always!) and good moments this afternoon eating rabbit for lunch with some pals (yum!) and watching spanish you tube music videos.   And now I will get ready to go running with Kari at al estadio, huffing and puffing around the track while folks stare at us and laugh.   It's all good.   

There was a song or a poem or something that I used to have from my college days and part of the words are stuck in my head today- wish I could remember what it is or where it came from..but here goes:

"and I,  I crawl when I should fly, I wander through my days, pulled a million ways.....and all my time is yours as much as mine".   

I'm feeling it today.   Beautiful. 

Cercado by moto...

oh the adventure never stops.  Here we are- the dynamic Home Visit duo- Angel y Nicol!

14 months old.  11 pounds.  Please pray for her.

ahhhh the hope of the world in her eyes....

Gleidy!  

visiting friends in Vallejuelo-

contenta.  contenta.  contenta.

BRILLIANT!

Ufff  I locked the keys in the truck.   I think it was a drug-induced stupor.  I was hopped up on cough and cold medicine and my head was pounding and I may have been delirious...and that's all just a total exaggeration to hide the fact that I might be an IDIOT.

However, the situation led to a couple cool things.  Number one:  El Cercado is definitely the place to lock the keys in the truck, even though it's a good hour from home.    See, Dr. Victor Perdomo is the BEST and he let us drive his truck back to San Juan.    Number two:  the gente in Cercado are AWESOME and I did get to play some dominos while seated high on a hill overlooking the mountains and laughing a whole bunch with some new and old pals and slurping some sugary sweet Dominican coffee.   Number three:  I got to RETURN to Cercado the next day with another set of keys, visit pals, play some more dominos and give a ride back to San Juan to another friend.  

So the reason I was in El Cercado in the first place is because I am/was meeting with all the principals of the Sold Rock-sponsored schools.   Which was a fantastic experience......mostly because I got to see the AMAZING job that these schools are doing with possibly the cutest kids even seen by man (except my adorable nephews).     I'm working with these schools as a sponsorship coordinator, which means that I am/will be promoting our schools and looking for sponsors for the kiddies who attend there.  And I'm learning ALOT.   And I have a lot more to learn.  So it's cool...and it's new for me...and I'm a teeny bit nervous but I'm just psyched about it overall.   And hey, anyone out there who wants to help a kid get a  quality Christian education for $26 a month....I'm looking for you!  Check out the Solid Rock website at www.solidrockmissions.org to find out more.      

The last couple days have been a bit off for me since I was clearly near total bedrest with the common cold (that might be a slight exaggeration but I did WHINE sufficiently that I FELT near death- SORRY DAN AND KARI AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO HAD TO HEAR THE WHINING!) but today is a better day and after an awesome Sunday morning at Principe de Paz ( I still can't understand the majority of the sermons here but I did catch on to "How good and pleasant it is when we live together in unity" and that was swwweeeeeeettttt), I am prepared to watch the Phillies and Eagles rock it out tonight.   The weather couldn't be nicer- so it's a perfect day to sit in front of the computer and watch my fantasy teams.  :)

Game on.  Sunday is my day.  :)

Sometimes it's just hard.....

I'm trying to catch onto this culture as fast as I can and sometimes that's good and sometimes it just sucks.   Half the time I don't understand what is happening around me.

But this I understand; two of my dear friends have lost loved ones recently (really recently).  One lost his 7 month old daughter and one lost his sister.  And I will say this... death is terrible everywhere but wow is it HIDEOUS here.      Because when someone dies here they have to be buried in like 24 hours.   So you go to the house pretty much right away.  And you sit there.  And sit there.  And listen to the wailing.   And you shake hands and hug folks that you don't know.  And maybe you cry.   And you talk to the other folks who are sitting there if you can or if you know them.  And many many many people come over and crowd in the house and sit under a plastic canopy in the street to visit and hug and sit there.   And last night we sat outside in the street in total darkness (no power) except for a few candles flickering in the house while family and friends came to support our friend.    And no tengo palabras.  I don't have words.

Things like life and death happen really quickly here.   It's scary actually.   Sometimes I wonder if that's why they LIVE SO LOUDLY here ....so ALL OUT....like staying up and out and playing music and enjoying everything SO HARD while they can.... Because wow- it seems to go by so fast.   So I guess I wonder- do we sugarcoat EVERYTHING in the States?   Or am I just forgetting?  Do we try to look good in our death and grief sometimes- because it's pretty darn raw here.  K Dios ayudanos.

So what will we do.....  Well, I guess we will visit our friends.  And sit with them.  And try not to say very much because, really, what is there to say?   God, Please Help Us.

Sometimes it's hard.  

Guess I didn't think so much about the painful part of community when I signed up for this gig.   And I WANT to be there- I do.    It's just like K said yesterday - "how come life here is so awesome and so awful at the same time?"  

Genny chooses us.

So vacation is over and its okay.    It was a heavenly vacation spent reading and writing and laying on the beach and bouncing ideas off of each other and playing dominos and watching movies and just generally loving life.  

And now we are back in San Juan getting back into the swing of things and it feels great to be home.   This might not be a surprise to many after reading my last post but we did add someone to our crew in Las Galeras.   Genny, the little black dog who loves us and spent nearly our entire vacation with us, was determined to return to San Juan with us.   We had discussed and discussed Genny while we were in Las Galeras (our hotel owner kept insisting that we should take her with us) and decided that even though we loved her, we didn't need another dog.    The morning that we left, we didn't see Genny and as we were driving away Kari and I both remarked that we were glad we didn't see her because we didn't want to cry the whole way home if she tried to run alongside us and it must have been a sign that we were NOT supposed to take her.    Not one minute after those words left our mouths, Genny appeared at a sprint, cruising alongside our truck and barking frantically.  Kari and I both started crying and Diego was barking back at her and whining.   Then she started running IN FRONT OF THE WHEELS.   Dan stopped the truck and Kari and I kept sniffling, not sure what to do.    I had just remarked that I didn't ever think I wanted another dog and the responsibility, etc.  and yet........there was Genny.
We sat there for a minute in turmoil and then Dan got out and tossed Genny in with us.  And that was that.  She licked us and wagged her tail and seemed completely ecstatic to have a family.   

And it IS kinda ridiculous.   She's a fighter, this one, determined to save us all from motorcycles and horses.   She doesn't quite know her name yet- it's actually Genny From The Block in entirety.   But she thinks we are the bee's knees.  She curls up in her little bed at night like she's always been here.   And there is something about those floppy ears that makes me laugh.   So yeah, Genny.   She chose us.  And it's nice to be chosen, even when you didn't think you were in the running.

So it's back to life here.  Whatever that means.  Often when folks ask me what I do everyday I'm not always sure what to tell them.   Some of the things I have done this week seem kinda random...and that's kinda how it goes here.   I've spent time (limited time!) in the scary med supply room, unpacking some suitcases and putting stuff away,  snuck a 9 year old street kid with a toothache in to see a doc, and then got some meds for him and instructed his mother on the use of them,  took lots of pictures of equipment in the clinic to send to incoming teams, sent about a billion emails, had a few phone meetings with my stateside jefes,   walked around the ORs with Livida to determine what may need repaired in the clinic, discussed plans with Livida and made lists of stuff to request from the american teams,  cleaned up the med room,  found exam gloves and stoma bags and cough syrup and gowns and drapes and sheets for the clinic,  grabbed lab results for a kid that I love and then delivered the meds and instructions to him,  sat down for a two hour coffee chat with Margo, packed up a suitcase of milk for the Child Nutrition Program,   wrote a letter for the community leaders to receive in preparation for our barrio clinics,  ran a mile at the track,   played with Genny and Diego, gave one of my favorite "lost boys" a ride home and met some of his family,  caught up with my pals in Pueblo Nuevo, gave 10 kids a ride to Cargon so they wouldn't have to wait 3 HOURS for their bus to get them home from school,   set up appointments to visit our sponsored schools next week,  drafted a fantasy football team,  made some pasta salad, drank buckets of chinola juice, caught up with some friends from home,   sat down over cheese and mangos and heard about a friends's university experiences, reviewed the winter schedule about a billion times, worked on the medical handbook in preparation for our new web site launching,  watched some phillies games, finished Unbroken on the Kindle, and more.   It's lots of little stuff..which is what I love.  

And I'm off to the track now.  Gotta clear the head again...which is full and bursting at the seams and I have another Skype meeting in an hour and I think I need to run first and clear out the cobwebs in there. :)  

And Genny sleeps on.  Feeling loved.  And I do too.