Nik@nite: May 2012

So my Grandpa died this week. He was 92. Paul Eby. He was a force. Devoted Christian, husband, father, farmer, SS teacher, Amish driver, cemetery walker, auto parts deliveryman. He was lots of things. But to me, he was Grandpa.

He died on Wednesday morning while I was more than 3000 miles away, getting ready for barrio clinics. He died less than two weeks from his 93 birthday, while one of his daughters had just become a grandmother to a new grandson, one is battling cancer, and while my dad was kinda far from home too. And I haven't actually really processed it at all. I've been in the midst of barrio clinics with a phenom group of students from Utah that have thrown themselves full heartedly into caring for and loving on the people here. Cool to see even in the midst of thinking and worrying about stuff on the States-side. And Joe and Shannon, the jefes on the states-side, were in town this past week and it's amazing to share the vision that we all have and are psyched about for Solid Rock and our lives here.

But on Thursday Monchi and I snuck away to Bastida on our lunch break at the barrio clinics. And Baby Nicole is WALKING. I saw her before we stopped the truck and she was toddling around outside laughing and staggering and she was BEAUTIFUL. And she even let me snuggle her a little bit before she started whining and sniveling. And she reached her chubby little hands out to me. And I thought again how precious is this life...and how quickly it can come and go. How it melted me last weekend to be with my cousins via Skype as they welcomed my adorable new cousin Caleb into the world. How precious a moment! Caleb won't grow up and know his Great Grandpa Eby. But he WILL grow up to know Jesus...because his parents do...... like my Grandpa did. And THAT is a legacy that we will all carry carefully in our hands and hearts and remember.

And I booked my flight QUICKLY to come home and I'm not quite ready... in my soul and heart and with my lack-of-sleep-schedule. I don't even remember what I may have packed in my final frenzy trying to prepare yesterday and get all my ducks in a row. But I WILL be ready. We did all my favorite things last night in San Juan. Hung out a little, rode the pasola to a ball game and stopped for chimis on the way, played dominos and danced a little bachata on the street corner (just for a minute), ate M&Ms and drank chinola juice, laughed, prayed together (out loud in spanish- holy cow), and cried a little bit. And Laura and I talked for a long time sitting on the bathroom floor like we do sometimes. I'm ready to see my family and friends that I love so much. I'm just not ready in a put-together-way yet. But it's okay. We are going to celebrate 92 years of Paul Eby tomorrow and Monday. We are going to remember him and tell stories and laugh and cry and maybe even sing a little bit.

Life. Wonder. I believe.

Right now I'm laying here in my bed counting the billions of blessings that are mine. Right now.

I get to live in this fabulous place surrounded by fabulous people. I eat the most fabulous food ever invented. Rice, beans and carne really can't be beat but let me just tell you that the aripitas (spelling? who knows?) tonight were possibly the great thing I've eaten in a long time. Aripitas are fried yucca and i watched the hijos make them (after phone calls to mothers and girlfriends) and it was worth every second that I almost helped them. :) It works kinda like this. First of all, a patient's family brought me the yucca which kinda about made me cry. Because this patient was REALLY sick and ended up getting 4 pints of blood, which miraculously was provided by our surgical team who MIRACULOUSLY had at least 6 people who matched this patient's blood type perfectly. There's a God thing for ya! So anyway, yeah- the patient is doing great right now (thanks be to Jesus!) and brought me yucca and grandules today. Oh and then Santos, one of my favorite kids from the streets who stops in on weekends sometimes to grab a bite to eat since he is almost always hungry......he stopped in today not to ask for food...but to hand me a huge sack of mangos. Ahhhhh humbled. Humbled beyond belief. Just freakin humbled.

Anyway, back to the aripitas. So- you take the yucca which looks kinda like a long black root ...and you scrub off the dirt and then hand it to Monchi- who peels it...and then hands it to Emmanuel, who starts shredding it. And when I'm finished washing them, I grab the other shredder and start shredding too. Then Emma calls his mom and Monchi checks in with his girlfriend and they verify everything we need. And we take the shredded yucca and Emma adds ani ( not sure what it is..but some herb...maybe anise?) that we call Yeltsin to bring and he shows up and starts helping. We add the anise and then 2 eggs and some salt and butter and a little bit of milk and sugar. So it kinda looks like a thick batter. Then you heat up some oil, and drop big spoonfuls of the mixture in the boiling oil and fry it. On the other side- I'm making hummus in the blender, Yecco and Monchi are working on some milk with lime juice and sugar, and Emma is now frying the aripitas AND the chuletas. Oh and the macaroni salad is waiting in the frig that took me a while this afternoon to pull together. And I cut up some carrots and cukes although i know I'll be the only one to eat them.

So it was a feast, a veritable feast. I STILL can't walk. But I'm thinking about how those folks came and brought me that food. That patient. And Santos. How it never ceases to remind me how I got here and how open the hearts are of the people we take care of. How these hijos mio help wash dishes after eating and scrub the sinks cleaner than I do. How Margo and I sat and talked over coffee for a long long time today. How freaking SCARED I was when that patient needed blood and needed it NOW. How I have had the greatest meetings with my boss this week on Skype and never fail to appreciate the amazing people who support and guide us down here. How this past team was here for the first time, every single one of them...and how EXCELLENT they were caring for folks and dove down into life here and threw down dominos with us and took it all in and hugged and kissed their sponsor kids. How I rolled into a cockfight this past weekend and literally could FEEL the adrenalin pour out of my ears for the 2 minutes that I made it in that arena. How it STILL feels like the greatest feeling in the world speeding home on the pasola after running at the track or on the way to Mogollon towards the mountains with some dembow blasting in my ears. How we spent time at the most beautiful river in the world a few weeks ago and ended up winning at dominos over some locals there. How people at church here know my name and always ask about Kari or Laura if they aren't with me. How the blue truck usually has at least one flat tire and it took us 3 gas stations to day to find one with an air hose that worked to fill them up. How we watch the Phillies online and talk trash while we whip up dinner together. How I get invited to folks houses to visit and eat and end up lounging on their beds watching Prison Break in spanish with their entire families. How the fantastic nurses in the clinic scrubbed instruments and wrapped them for me all last week so I could scrub into surgery and assist. How Lily gently touches my shoulder when I'm stressed or worried in the clinic and reminds me to trust Jesus, trust Jesus, trust Jesus.....(and I watch her hold hands with our patients and pray with them before surgery).. All this love.....all this life together....

Right now. I'm laying here right now thanking God. Right now.