Oh I am with you always

I am with you always.  That's what Jesus Calling said today.   And I have felt it this week.  Felt like He is with me.

I am getting to the point of living here where we continue to walk side by side with each other, me and those who live around me.  By that I mean that we are beginning to carry other people's burdens.  You know, like I'm not just here for a minute but that I am plugging IN here.    Soooooo my Dominican friends have seen me cry and kinda fall apart over stuff and whine and fuss and weep...and now I'm seeing some of the REAL long term issues that are going on.  And it's painful.  Sometimes glorious but sometimes painful.    

And isn't that how life in the States is as well?   We plug INTO life and then we see how messy it is.  How unscheduled it is.  How it can't stay in our comfort boundaries at all.    It's definitely easier to roll in and roll out of a place.   But we are not created for that, as much as I love it.  We are created to live in COMMUNITY, however difficult (and glorious!) that might be!

Laura and I spent almost an entire day this past week trying to help a friend with some medical troubles who then needed to find a place to live here in San Juan.  Oh and the time in the public hospital was ANYTHING but smooth.  And as the hours ticked by we were getting more and more anxious because we couldn't just DROP him off anywhere.   And God came through in a big and magnificent way but it became clear to me that I am not part of a easy fix system anymore.   I am one of the ones who sees when a post op patient comes back in and everything isn't quite like we thought it would be and then watch as they are transported to the hospital.  Hmmmmmm.   Or I hear that the tumor is growing back.    That means I also get the smiles and thanks from the 99% of folks who have had fantastic experiences here.  And that is the COOLEST.    But life isn't just made up of the 99%.  

When I was younger, I always wanted to be a mother.  Always.  I wanted a zillion kids.  And that has changed (ohhhh yeahhh!) over the recent years but there is still this nurturing maternal THING that tries to get out of me.  And God is USING it.  But it hurts.   Because I am experiencing the pain of seeing when your kids are HURT and in PAIN and in TROUBLE.    I'm not sure how all of you do it 24-7 with your peoples.    So when I read that Jesus says "I am with you always" I am comforted.   I forget it from moment to moment but when I allow myself to SINK into it and hold onto it and throw up my hands to Him....He reassures me.     And I have seen a number of awesome God moments this week...from the encouraging encouraging ENCOURAGING team that was in-house...to bumping into just the right person at just the right moment when neither one of us should have been there.... to deep heavy conversations where the right words came out when they should have... to an awesome prayer time with Pastor Steve and Eric in the cabana here.    

I'm taking it in.   I'm gearing up for more.  I know He is with me here, even to the end of the Age.  

nik

Hanging with a cutie before surgery!  This is definitely one of the best perks!

At the Child Nutrition fiesta in Cercado...

It's so wonderful working with Dr. Perdomo and Ruth and Laura.  What a great day we had!

The mamas and babies listening to the charlas at the clinic

And hey, here I am in the OR learning more about LMAs

Good times!

That Dr. Bill Hallowes is an excellent instructor!  Come back soon Wild Bill!

Ufff here is Laura in her very own hospital bed in the Guesthouse...  She got sick a few days last week and got to stay in our room in her bed with her own nurse (ummm, that would be me!  Poor Laura!)

We opened the doors for visitors though---- which really makes being sick a whole lot better!   She's completely healed now but it IS reassuring having the medical crew here...Dr. Perdomo and Dr. Sandy and the lab girls and just everyone.  We are so grateful to be at a place with such an excellent team! 

M&Ms

Wow- so I've got some friends from the hometown church in town AND one of my favorite teams was here this week.  So I got inundated with the greatest coping mechanism EVER- plain chocolate M&Ms.   Ahhhhhhhhh it's awesome!   And I am feeling BETTER and more ready to face the world!  Thanks everyone- for all your prayers and for your M&Ms too!  

After two great weeks in the barrios I was in the clinic this past week with an amazing surgical team from Georgia.   We did lots and lots of tonsils/adenoids and a bunch of thyroids and general surg stuff too.   It always starts off crazy on Mondays with the 8 billion consults that roll in but it's just the coolest to see these guys do what they are so good at doing.   And I learn a lot too.  I got to help place an LMA and see the new laparoscopic tower in use and watch Miss Ani round up and run her group with grace and fierce organization.   Oh and I went for another tour of the local hospital with Wild Bill and some others.  We got to see Labor and Delivery this time which pulled a little heartstring of mine.  It was toooooo coooollll!   On the men's ward we interviewed the first 8 guys in beds there.  Guess how many of them were there due to motorcycle accidents?  SIX OUT OF EIGHT.  Yipes!

It was also great to meet up with friends from home who are in town helping out in Pueblo Nuevo.   It's been 6 months since I've left home and what a welcome sight it is to hug my dear ones and catch up with them.   Lots and lots of laughter!   Laura and I visited on Sunday morning, caught up with them at baseball on Tuesday and then again Thursday night.    

After a rough couple weeks earlier, I had some time (not a lot but a little bit) this week to think and dwell on life here.   I also took more time to focus on Jesus Calling in the mornings and just try to start off my day with more Jesus in it.  One thing that is apparent to me is that Jesus has called me here and that He wants me here.   I find an incredible incredible joy in participating in life here.  It gets hard and messy and frustrating sometimes....but there is also a very strong sense of BELONGING that I have here.   Since I'm seeing some of these teams for the second time, it feels good to recognize faces and hang out and be an established PART OF THINGS.   And that goes even MORE on the Dominican side of things.   Although my spanish still BLOWS...it feels amazing to be able to make a phone call and schedule something or communicate (nearly) successfully with someone.    Laura and I were in El Cercado yesterday for the First Annual (well, for us anyway) Child Nutrition Program fiesta.   All the kids in the Nutrition Program were invited for a meal and some charlas (talks) and a little gift bag (toothbrushes, etc).    We introduced ourselves again and then Ruth and Dr. Perdomo spoke to them.   As I looked around the room I recognized a LOT of the little people and it felt good to know that I have been to a lot of their houses or seen them in clinic and could give hugs and ask them how they were doing.   That contributed to the sense of  BELONGING.   And then Laura and I and Chino and Angel and Victor and Ruth and some others worked in the little kitchen there making plates and serving them and it just felt GOOD to be on that side of things.   To help with projects, to be on the presenting side, to work TOGETHER with an amazing Dominican team who is making a major difference in the lives of little kiddies in El Cercado.  And we got to see W the 8 year old and also Baby Girl (who was 11 pounds at 14 months).   Baby Girl looks about 10 billion times better.  She still is scared to death of me and wails when she sees me.  But she has definitely gained weight and I was thrilled to see her mother participating at the clinic.  On the other hand, W looks awful.  He has been very very sick and Laura and I are very concerned for him.  Please pray for him.  He's the greatest kid EVER and does look a bit better than he did a week or so ago when we visited him at home.  But something is still not right there and I'm a bit afraid that it might have nothing to do with malnutrition.   It's situations like this...when we follow up with kids...when we share in the triumphs AND the scary times...that also make me feel a sense of BELONGING.   For the good AND for the bad.

And on a personal major major achievement, Laura and I finished up our day in Cercado by WINNING 3 games of dominos.   While 2 Americanas winning in itself is a huge plus- two WOMEN beating the fellas is an enormous opportunity for trash talking.  We gloated for hours.   In fact, we are still talking about it.   I'm afraid it may never happen again but oh well.   We will bask in the moment.  

So here we go again.  I'm still crashed in my bed because it's SATURDAY and it's my only day to sleep in (okay, well...to get more than 6 hours of sleep).   We will have another team here in less than 8 hours and one that left yesterday morning.  Oh madness.  It's madness.   Laura and I will soon stumble to the kitchen, fill up the soda frig, make sure the water things are full, tidy up outside and inside, pick up the dog poop, unlock the rooms and turn on the fans and open up the windows, cut up the fruit and veggies if they have arrived, get out the leaf blower and blow all the leaves off the sidewalks/cabana,  and try to generally be ready for the next folks showing up.  If it was a medical team I would spend the rest of the hours in the pharmacy putting away the meds and scrubs from last week.   Oh and I would have to set up for surgery in the clinic.  AND there is still an entire CONTAINER of stuff to be put away in the clinic and scary room.  But it's NOT a medical team so I work on that on Monday.  Whew!   Oh and we'll have to clean OUR room and do OUR laundry and try to catch up on our personal lives too.  Like, I think I need to dye my hair today.  And possibly scrub out the bathtub.  And it's been a long time since my eyebrows have gotten any attention.   But I'm typing this with a smile on my face because I know that I love it.    And the adrenalin will kick in (any minute now!)....and the coffee will perk in the greco....and the dogs will stop barking like idiots (soon I hope!) and the sun will continue to beam down upon us.  

It's life in the DR, folks.  I BELONG here.  Shaggy eyebrows and all.  :)

The Missing Earring

I seem to live a life of extremes.  Maybe I've ALWAYS been this way...up or down, running around or asleep at the switch,  loca or trankilo....but this past week, these past two weeks- it's been a kaleidoscope of emotions and drama.  

I've been in the barrios the last two weeks and while it has been amazing and beautiful and I look forward soooo much to going- it's completely exhausting.   Not so much physically, although I do feel a bit roughed up....but emotionally and spiritually.   I find myself lying awake at night running through the educational scenarios, hoping I've remembered what I'm supposed to be taking, that I've called all the referrals we've gotten for surgery for next week, that I've made the copies the groups need, wondering if my BP cuff is still in my bag, etc etc etc. etc. and the litany goes on and on.   I lost an earring that I just love.  I've been MISSING my family a lot.  I haven't been completely honest with one of my friends.   It's been way too long since I've been to the track.   My quiet time/devotion time/Jesus time is a joke.   I woke up this morning in a complete panic wondering if we have enough Fentanyl for surgery this coming week.   Got a phone call earlier this week that I was just DREADING and hoping wouldn't happen.  And it did.  There just hasn't been a lot of PEACE.  There has been a lot of worry and panic and edginess and fear.   There has NOT been much sleep.  And of course the people-pleaser part of me is just hoping that the whole world is enamored with everything here and stressed out that maybe they are not.   Ugh.  Exhausting.  Why do I do this to myself?  Where is my faith?    These groups have been so amazing and wonderful- I want to pour into them.  And I feel.....so....tired.  

I rode on the back of a motorcycle to Hondo Valle (from Cercado) yesterday and for a few minutes I was lost.   Lost in how glorious this world is.  Lost in the air and breeze and pine trees and coffee plants.   Soaking in the quiet for 2 seconds.   Trying to grasp how big God is, how much I NEED to trust Him, how much He wants to carry these worries of mine.  Struggling with how to give them to Him and be in PEACE.   I stood up before the people waiting in line in Hondo Valle yesterday and tried to share in my little charlas.    I talk about the importance of drinking water and then try to segue way into Jesus being our Living Water, that of course I can drink my little glass of water today and be thirsty in another hour...but that the water of Jesus Christ will quench our thirst forever.   I talk about parasites and how they are obtained here....and how to prevent them.  And then I talk about spiritual parasites like GUILT and FEAR and SHAME and how only Jesus can really rid us of these parasites.   I talk and talk and talk, painfully PAINFULLY (how humbling it is!)  in spanish, hoping that my words are heard and understood.  

And today as I was reflecting back on my trust issues (or lack of trust issues)- it struck me that I (ME!  Nicole Eby!) am thirsty for this living water...and that I have these spiritual parasites of GUILT and STRESS and WORRY and the LIST GOES ON.   And that really....only Jesus can take this off of me.   Only Jesus is going to help me sleep deeply in peace.  

Bienva reminded me again this morning (after she bailed me out of the fentanyl issue and completely saved the day) that I should wake up and PRAISE God and before my feet even HIT the floor- I should read my Bible and Jesus Calling and start my day off like that.  And this isn't exactly NEWS to me- I know very well that I SHOULD do it.   Even though I rarely do. So I want to praise Him now....for exactly EVERYTHING that I am whining about.    Because I know nothing passes through His Hands that He hasn't filtered for me.   And after boohooing for the last 2 days I'm ready to stop and get serious about handing it off to Jesus.  

After I came to this realization YET again.....I was walking out near the wash line when I noticed a little glint in the ground.  It was my missing EARRING!  I had kinda muttered a half-prayer this morning about it.....grumbling about how I always lose the earrings that I love and why is everything crap and grumble grumble grumble.   And there it was- nearly buried in the ground!  Seemed like a precious little Jesus moment- that He was reminding me "I care about the earring....but I care WAY more about losing you.  Stick around....I can really bail you out.....".

So here we go again.  Me and Jesus.  Me wondering if it will always be luchando (wrestling).  Him with His arms around me reminding me "You really aren't alone.  You REALLY aren't.  Give it up mi hija- I have your back".  

Week ONE!!!

Yayyyyyy still alive and kicking after the first of our teams in January. We just spent an incredible week with the folks from VIMM (Volunteers in Medical Missions) and a team from Danville, PA....watching them dig in at the barrio clinics and just LOVE ON PEOPLE. It was the coolest.

We were in various places in Elias Pina for the most part and I forgot how much I LOVE going to the barrios. One of our goals is to continue to introduce more education into our barrio clinics and one of my favorite things was watching Leah, one of the Danville all-stars, do charlas (talks) with Pastor Widmy to the waiting patients. She talked about dental care and parasites and drinking clean water and all sorts of good stuff. We were able to incorporate some one to one.... face to face prayer time with the patients too and that was really meaningful to me. We talk with the teams about how handing out meds is great and all....but giving folks education is KEY...and then sharing Jesus is even MORE key. Seeing it in action is awesome!

So most of today was spent in the med room trying to pull it together for the next team coming in tomorrow..and then (of course) some dominos tonight. I'm feeling shot, pretty emotionally beat, on the exhausted side. But I know that tomorrow when we see the eager faces of the next folks to get going....it will invigorate me. And also, Terry Wellman is here helping Laura and I...and she might be the greatest thing that has ever hit the clinic. She has organized almost EVERYTHING out there and I could just cry for joy knowing that in another week when the first surgical team comes.... they will reap the benefits of all of her hard work. She and I have decided together that the Scary Room will need to wait. I'd post a new picture but honestly- it wouldn't do the horror of that room any justice. :)

I'm psyched for this week because our barrio clinics are near El Cercado and I'm hoping to sneak to the house for some sweeeeetttttt rice and beans for lunch if I can.  :)  Doubt it will happen but one can always hope....

Anyhoo- bendiciones a todooooo.....til next week...